My Journey

My path to a healthy, mind body and soul

I have always been chubby for as long as I could remember, that was just my body type and didn't think it would ever change.  I weighed 165lbs and was only 5'2.  I was completely unhappy with my body thoughout middle school and high school and always wanted to be skinny and fit. I always wore sweaters to hide my body and would wish everyday that my body would just be "skinny."

I finally decided to start working out my freshman year of high school. That didn't last all but two weeks. I tried numerous diets, from slim fast to the grape fruit diet and nothing seemed to help, I always went back to my old ways of eating, and continued to be un-happy. 

The summer before my junior year was when I finally decided to stop complaing and do something about my weight! I changed my eating habits (not drastically), but cut out chips and candy and started working out. My parents had purchased a gym pass for me but I never used it and finally decided to put it to good use. This is where my crazed psychotic addiction to running began. This became my outlet. I started off small, I ran/walked for 20 minutes every other day combined with my lack of chips and candy, the weight began to fall off! Within one month I had dropped weight, I was excited! But also knew I could do better, having such an obsessive perfectionist personality, I was asking for trouble. Knowing I had dropped some weight by just walking 3 days a week and cutting out sweets, I wondered what I could do if I worked out more and cut more out of my diet. This is where my obsession and unhealthy relationship with food began. I started working out twice a day and eating only fruit. By the end of the summer I had dropped 30-40lbs.  I started junior year and recieved so many compliments but knew I could still do better. That year I decided to join the water polo and swim team. Practices we're brutal. We had morning practice and evening practice for a good 2-3 hours each. After my evening practice I would go to the gym, and work out for another hour. I was working out so much and barely eating, most of my days consisted a rice cake, grapes, and banana. By the end of my junior year I was down to my lowest 105lbs. I knew what I was doing wasn't good or healthy for my body, I was always moody and not a fun person to be around.  I just didn't know how to change. 

The summer before senior year, I slowly started to gain weight back because I was eating more, my body was so starved for food that no matter how much I worked out, it was holding onto whatever food it could. By the time of graduation (when I met fiance) I had gained 40-50lbs and completely unhappy..again! 

College started and I became more and more busy! Fiance left to University of California-San Diego, I started my first job at Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, and started my first full load of collage. I had no time to work out! With studying, weekend trips to san diego, and working at a job where I could eat as much as my heart desired, the weight continued to climb! I finally decided my sophomore year of college, that I needed to change. I was tired of feeling fat, unhealthy, exhausted and bloated. So I quit my job, decided to concentrate on school, and focus on me. 

I decided to start running again! I hadn't run since high school and truly missed it. I dusted off my running shoes and headed on my first run it was amazing. I never felt better, I was born to be a runner, it was my calling. I started running in the mornings, to start my day off right. I even joined a jogging class to make sure I got my runs in, I was completely and uterlly happy! I finally started dropping weight and all I was doing was running more and drinking more water. Fiance was even happy with the results :) but with all good things, there is always something bad. My perfectionist personality began to show through once more, I figured if all I was doing was running and losing weight imagine if I went back to only eating fruit, how much weight I could use. I figured I did it before and it worked, so I could do it again, just this time, I would stop before it got out of control. Yeah right! I was running 6 miles, everyday and only eating yogurt and fruit, I was also consumed and stressed with taking my pre-reqs for nursing school, that by the end of the year I was down to lowest weight again. I was always moody and unhappy, here I was at my "perfect" weight and I was still unhappy and I was stressed with applying to nursing school. I started my 3rd year of college still in my workout and eating mode, and still completely unhappy. 

My junior year of college I got accepted to the nursing program (hooray!) and couldn't be more excited. That's when it hit me, how could I be a nurse? A nurse is someone, who takes care of people who are sick and shows them how to be healthy. How could tell someone to be healthy, if I am unhealthy myself. I decided at that moment, I needed to change. I enlisted the help of my parents and fiance. I explained to them everything I had been feeling and told them I needed to change. WIth their help, I began to eat more meals, run because I wanted to (not to lose weight), enjoy the occasional brownie without feeling guilty and signed up for my first half marathon (2008). I knew by signing up for my race and being an avid runner, I needed to fuel properly and stop dieting. I stopped dieting all together that year (2008) began a healthy relationship with food, completed my first half-marathon and was back to being my happy self. It wasn't an easy journey, it was a long hard journey but with their help and support, I made it through. 


2.5 years later: I am healthy and happy, there are times that I wish I was smaller, my tummy was a little more flat or my legs were smaller. But I am me!  I'm healthy, at a healthy weight of 120 and strong. I have a better relationship with food and my body. I never want to cause harm to my body like I did in the past. I was unhappy mentally and physically, I was doing nothing but harm to myself, and harm to people who loved me. I look at my body now as if it's gods temple and treat it the way it should be treated! I also make it a point to fuel properly, I'm a runner and I need to take care of my body!! 

After my first half-marathon in 2008, I became addicted and obssessed! I am still crazy addicted to running and run on a regular basis. Running is my love! I swear i'll be running when I'm 90 :) I've completed 6 half marathons and will be running my 7th half on Januray 16, 2011 and will run my first full marathon June 2011. My relationship with food has improved and my diet could not be healthier (with an occasional sweet treat!) I love working out and training for my next event!  for the first time in my life I'm happy and except me!  I now treat my body as if it's god's temple, and treat it the way it should be treated with love and care!  

I am now engaged to my fiance who is an amazing man, he has stuck by me through it all and still finds me gorgeous no matter what size! I'm getting married next November and couldn't be more excited. I have a loving, supportive family,  friends who love me for me, and a God who loves me unconditonally. I am set to graduate nursing school this december 2011. I hope to find a job become a nurse, get married and start a masters program in nutrition! Every day is a gift and plan to live every day to it's fullest! I am so excited for the next coming years that God has planned for me :) I love living a healthy life and love this continous journey to  a healthy mind, body and soul. I hope to use my past experiences to help others on their journey to a healthy, mind, body and soul.